After a weekend where I couldn’t speak with my Pappa properly, all I wanted was to hear her voice and spend some time with her. Today was mostly a normal Monday, but inside my mind, there was only one thought that kept coming back again and again—I miss my Pappa, and I just want to go back to India.
Waking Up Just to Speak With My Pappa
This morning, I woke up around 6:30 A.M., even though I had slept only around 3 A.M. last night. I was extremely tired, but after two days of the weekend—Saturday and Sunday—where I couldn’t speak with my Pappa properly, I wanted to speak with her at least today. So, I woke up early and waited for my Pappa’s call.
As soon as I received her call, we started sharing everything that had happened during our weekends. The conversation went smoothly, and as usual, we had some fun topics and enjoyed our time together. After missing those conversations for the past two days, simply being able to talk with her made me feel better.
During our conversation, I also spoke to her about maintaining certain limits with people around her. One of her colleagues had recently shared some reels that I felt were a little weird, and because of that, I advised her not to get too attached or too close to anyone. I just asked her to maintain some distance and healthy boundaries with her colleagues.
Once she reached her office, she asked me to go back to sleep because she knew I hadn’t slept properly. I wanted to sleep too, but by then, the day had already started, and I felt it was too late to go back to bed.
Starting My Monday With Eggs and Bread
I returned to my room and started preparing my usual breakfast—two boiled eggs and bread. While the eggs were boiling, I went to take a shower, and once I came back, I finished my breakfast. Immediately after that, I went downstairs to the workspace and started working.
Since today was Monday, I wanted to start the week fresh and complete as many tasks as possible. Unfortunately, because I hadn’t slept properly the previous night, I couldn’t concentrate as much as I wanted to. I managed to complete a few tasks before lunch, but throughout the morning, I could feel the lack of sleep affecting my productivity.
Waiting for Her Lunch-Break Call
As lunchtime approached, I started waiting for my Pappa’s call. Finally, she called me, and she told me that both of the colleagues who usually sit on her left and right sides were on leave today. Because of that, she was feeling a little alone at the office.
I had already told her in the morning that if she ever felt alone, she could call me. During the call, I asked her how her day was going and what she had eaten for lunch, and we continued talking peacefully. Everything was going smoothly, but soon, her lunch break came to an end, and it was time for her to return to work.
Honestly, I didn’t want her to leave. I just wanted to keep seeing her face and her smile because I was already missing her so much. But there was nothing we could do about it, so she went back inside the office, and I ordered my lunch.
A Heavy Lunch and a Sleepy Afternoon
My food arrived, and I had ordered a full meal, which turned out to be quite heavy. After finishing it, I went downstairs again to resume my work, but unfortunately, the heavy lunch combined with my lack of sleep made me even more sleepy. I was trying to work, but my eyes and body were asking me to rest.
Meanwhile, my Pappa and I created a Jam on Spotify and started listening to songs together. Of course, almost all the songs were selected by the queen—my Pappa—and they were Hindi songs. The funny part is that I don’t even understand Hindi!
Still, I continued listening to whatever songs she played. If I changed the songs, I would probably get some nice beatings from her, so I decided it was safer not to touch anything and simply enjoy the songs selected by my queen. After some time, she went for a break, and finally, it became my turn to change the songs, so I started playing some of the songs I liked.
Asking Her to Leave Office Early
Later, I kept asking my Pappa to leave the office a little early. Since the colleagues she usually spends time with weren’t there today, I thought it would be better for her to leave early and avoid the heavy Monday traffic. Thankfully, she listened to me and left the office at around 6 P.M.
While she was travelling home, we got on a call and started talking about how our day had gone. We discussed everything that had happened throughout the day, and as usual, we also had some fun conversations.
During the call, I also started thinking about something that this long-distance relationship has taught me. Being away from my Pappa has helped me understand certain things about her more deeply—how she thinks, how she reacts, and how she behaves in different situations.
Something I’ve Noticed About My Pappa
One thing I’ve noticed several times is that whenever people are around her, she sometimes hesitates to speak with me freely. Instead of speaking casually like she normally does, she sometimes waits for me to say something and responds with short answers like “yes” or “no.”
I’ve noticed this multiple times, and I’ve told her not to be like that. I want her to be bold and speak freely without constantly worrying about what the people around her might think. Unless we’re talking about those people directly, I don’t think anyone is going to care about our conversation.
I was trying to advise her and encourage her to become more confident about this, but I know changing something like this doesn’t happen immediately. I just want her to understand that she doesn’t always have to worry about everyone around her. She should be herself and do whatever makes her comfortable and happy.
Another thing I’ve noticed happens during our video calls when she’s travelling in an auto. Sometimes, instead of looking at me on the screen, she’ll keep looking outside the auto—through the windows, to the sides, and everywhere else. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there wondering, “I’m right here on your screen, Pappa. Why are you looking everywhere except at me?”
I spoke to her about that too. Again, my intention was simply to tell her to be confident and not worry too much about what other people might think. Still, apart from these discussions, our conversation was filled with our usual fun topics, and we continued talking about how our day had gone.
Another Call Coming to an End
Soon, she reached the area near her home, and once again, our call had to come to an end. I asked her to call her brother so that he could come and pick her up.
But today, for some reason, I was missing my Pappa much more than usual.
One of my colleagues was leaving Dubai and travelling back to India today. Seeing someone else getting ready to return home made me think, “Is there any chance I can just go with them?”
I know that’s not how things work, but that’s honestly what my heart wanted.
Counting the Days Until I Can Go Back
These days, I feel like I’m constantly counting the days. I’m thinking, “When will this finally get over? Is there any way to make these days move faster? Is there some kind of time machine that can take me directly to the day I return to India?”
Unfortunately, nothing can make time move faster.
All I can do is wait.
After my Pappa left with her brother, I told her, “Ta-da, bye-bye. Have good food, eat your dinner, and sleep well, Pappa.” She also advised me to sleep early today because she knew I hadn’t slept properly the previous night.
After ending our call, I returned to my work, completed whatever tasks I could, logged out, and came back to my room.
Too Sleepy to Even Think About Dinner
Today, we had also put our clothes for washing, so I couldn’t immediately go to sleep. I had to stay awake until the clothes finished drying, and honestly, that felt like the biggest challenge of the day.
At this point, I wasn’t even worried about dinner.
I was worried about sleep.
My eyes were literally closing on their own, and all I wanted was to fall onto the bed and sleep peacefully. Once the clothes are ready, I’ll probably have something simple for dinner—maybe I’ll eat outside, or I’ll just have some bread.
Whatever I eat, I’m planning to sleep as early as possible, probably around 9:30 or 10 P.M. maximum. My body desperately needs proper rest after sleeping so late yesterday.
I Just Miss My Pappa
And yeah, that’s pretty much how my day went.
Nothing extraordinary happened today. Overall, it was a good and peaceful day, but there was one feeling that stayed with me from morning until night.
I miss my Pappa a lot.
I miss her more than I can explain.
Right now, all I want is to return to India and be with her. Every time I see someone travelling back to India, a small part of me wishes I could pack my bags and leave with them.
So, whatever Gods are there, please help me this time.
I just want to go back to India.
I don’t want to return here again immediately. Maybe someday in the future, if another company or another opportunity brings me back to Dubai, that’s completely fine. But for now, please just let me go home and stay there.
I want to be close to my Pappa again.
That’s all I’m asking for.
Anyway, that’s it for today, guys. It was a simple Monday filled with work, sleepiness, Spotify songs, conversations with my Pappa, and a heart that kept missing her throughout the day.
If anything interesting, different, or unexpected happens, I’ll share it with you in tomorrow’s blog.
Until then, have a good day. Bye-bye!