Today morning, I woke up around 4 A.M. and went to the washroom. After that, I went back to bed and slept again. I finally woke up around 6:50 A.M., freshened up, wished my Pappa good morning, and went downstairs to wait for her call.
As soon as my Pappa called me, we started talking. We had some cool conversations and discussed different topics. Yesterday, she had told one of her friends about our love, so she was telling me about that conversation too.
During our call, I also advised her to be safe and not get too close to anyone unnecessarily. I told her to treat office mates as office mates because they are not her friends or family. We continued talking about a few other things until my Pappa reached her office, and then we ended the call saying “Bye, love you” to each other.
Starting My Busy Day
After ending the call with my Pappa, I called my grandpa and spoke with him for a while. Then I returned to my room, kept the eggs for boiling, and went to take a bath. Once I was ready, I prepared bread for breakfast and ate it along with the eggs.
After finishing breakfast, I went downstairs and started working. Today, I had a lot of work to complete, so I knew I was going to be occupied for most of the day. Still, no matter how busy I am, there are certain times when I’m automatically waiting for my Pappa.
Lunch is one of those times.
Waiting for Her Lunch Call
When it was around my Pappa’s lunchtime, I texted her and asked her to go for lunch. But she delayed going, and I also came to know that she had a meeting at 2:30 P.M., immediately after her lunch.
I felt disappointed because if she already knew that she had a meeting, I thought she could have gone for lunch a little earlier. Then maybe we could have spoken for some time because I had been waiting for her call for quite a while.
Meanwhile, we had a small spark of a fight regarding her food. My Pappa said that she was going to eat less, and that irritated me because I feel that she isn’t eating properly these days. Sometimes she skips dinner, and sometimes she doesn’t eat breakfast properly.
I told her that I would order something for her because I didn’t want her to eat less. I got angry because I kept thinking, “Why is she doing this? Why isn’t she eating properly?” Later, I calmed myself down, convinced her, and started speaking normally again.
Finally, My Pappa Called Me
After her meeting was completed, my Pappa called me, and we finally got some time to speak. We spoke for a while, but I also asked her to return to the office because she had taken only a few minutes for lunch and was now taking another break after her meeting.
I didn’t want continuous breaks to create a bad impression at her workplace. Even though I wanted to speak with her, her work is also important to me. I don’t want anything I do to affect her professionally.
Usually, whenever we end our calls, we say “Bye, love you” to each other. This time, when I said “Love you,” she didn’t say it back because one of her colleagues was sitting near her.
Inside my mind, I was thinking, “So what? It’s your personal life. You can say love you, right? There’s nothing wrong with it.”
But I didn’t say anything to her. I simply left it because I didn’t want another small thing to become an argument.
Work Became Even More Hectic
After that, I had my lunch and continued working. By evening, I suddenly got some urgent bugs that had to be fixed immediately. At the same time, it was almost time for my Pappa to leave her office.
I wanted to speak with her while she was travelling home, so I pushed myself to resolve all the bugs as quickly as possible. Around 6:30 P.M., I finally managed to resolve everything.
Immediately, I texted my Pappa asking whether she had left the office.
But there was no reply.
I waited.
Usually, around that time, she would either tell me that she had left the office or at least reply to my message. But today, I didn’t receive anything from her.
Those 20 Minutes Felt Longer
I kept waiting for almost 20 minutes. Finally, around 6:50 P.M., I received a reply from my Pappa saying that she was going to leave the office.
I felt disappointed again. In my mind, I was thinking, “Why couldn’t you send me one reply? I’m sitting here worried about you. Didn’t I come into your mind even once?”
Once she left the office, I asked her why she hadn’t texted me or at least told me that she was going to be late. She said that she hadn’t noticed the time.
I told her that even if she hadn’t noticed the time, she could have at least seen my message and replied. My Pappa said sorry and explained that she hadn’t noticed either my message or the time.
Again, I didn’t want to turn it into an argument.
I Just Wanted Her to Talk to Me
After that, my Pappa entered the auto and told me that she would reach the next stop and call me.
At that moment, I wasn’t feeling good emotionally. I thought, “At least you could have convinced me or spoken to me for a little while.”
But I didn’t want to continue the issue, so I simply said okay, ended the call, and started waiting for her next call.
All these small things had already started running continuously in my mind. Eventually, I developed a bad headache.
After some time, my Pappa finally called me.
I told her, “From lunchtime itself, we haven’t spoken properly. I was literally waiting for your call.”
She explained that the auto had been crowded, which was why she had asked me to hang up earlier. I thought that she could have told me that at that moment because I would have understood.
I could have simply said, “Okay, no need for a video call. Until you reach the first stop, let’s at least speak through a normal voice call.”
Initially, I had actually thought that maybe one of her colleagues was travelling with her and that was why she couldn’t speak. But later, when she told me that the auto was crowded, everything that had happened since lunchtime started running through my mind again.
I Couldn’t Speak Normally
I wanted to speak normally with my Pappa. I genuinely tried, but I couldn’t.
Too many small things had accumulated in my head throughout the day. I wasn’t intentionally trying to be dull with her, but I simply couldn’t speak the way I normally do.
I apologized to my Pappa for not being able to speak properly. She tried to convince me and make me feel better, but at that moment, I couldn’t completely come out of that mood.
Eventually, she reached near her home. Her brother came to pick her up as usual, so it was time for us to end the call.
We said “Bye-bye, love you” to each other and ended it.
A Cup of Tea Made Me Feel Better
After the call, I went to have some tea. Surprisingly, after drinking the tea and spending a little time by myself, I started feeling better.
Later, my Pappa called me again.
We spoke for a few minutes, and this time I felt much better while talking to her. I apologized again for how I had been earlier, but my Pappa told me that there was no need to keep asking sorry.
That small call actually helped me.
After that, we ended the call, and I returned to my room.
Ending the Day Peacefully
Once I reached my room, I ordered food and had my dinner. Meanwhile, my Pappa told me that she was speaking with one of her close friends.
After their call ended, she told me that she had spoken with her friend and that she would tell me tomorrow what they had talked about. Since it was already late, I asked my Pappa to go to sleep instead of staying awake.
I told her that I would also sleep once I finished writing today’s blog. Finally, we ended our conversation by saying “Bye, love you, good night” to each other.
Today wasn’t a huge fight or some major problem. It was simply a collection of small things that kept entering my mind one after another—the delayed lunch, waiting for her call, not hearing “love you” back, waiting for her message in the evening, and then not being able to speak properly when we finally got the chance.
Maybe that was why everything felt heavier than it actually was.
But at least the day ended peacefully. I spoke with my Pappa again, I felt better, we said love you, and there was nothing left to carry into tomorrow.
And now that I’ve finished writing this blog, I’m going to sleep.
Good night, guys. ❤️
See you tomorrow.